pelorian brain puzzle contest


In the offices of Specious Industries, a division of Pelorian Digital, the Participant sits before the desk of the Assistant Director of Clanpt (our chief investigator into the existence of words physically impossible to pronounce). After a brief interview and an uncomfortable silence, the Assistant Director responds to the Participant's growing anticipation by reading the following letter:




Because of your heroic efforts in response to our humble mission, we would like to share with you the sentiments of our Director that demonstrate the deep regard with which your efforts are held by those who are most strongly without regret and appreciative to a depth from which the magnitude of gratitude, unfolding as it does with magnificent undulation as if recently freed from the transfiction of rhetorical redundancy, and yet rising and falling flat on a fated fallacy, as it were, returning again and again and again, and again once again, to the state of unfolding urgency with which we all never fail to neglect (of course equally never succeeding to elect within reasonable bounds of notoriety and discretion as if a fair amount of neglection of detection were by inference and manic perpetual friction compounded upon the framework of these times easily endured with the quiet acquiescence and mental impertinence also residually residing in the statements above), which without any pretense of hitherto untoward claims of marginal or subsidiary portions of involutional sagacity we agree does not fully declare or intrude upon the true nature of your importance to our institution or the reason by which we are able today, this wondrous day of realization and reflection upon your achievements, as we fully scale the heights of admiration and depths of our unending logmanic dedication to the very ideals which by the small encumbrance of this same sentence, once never spoken by anyone anywhere for the absolute soundest of reasons has now fallen upon you for the ever-enigmatic appreciation that only you in these, the salad days of our digestion, can understand.

For this we are eternally vigilant. With our deepest inadvertency, I leave you as your humble protractor,

Jgojs P. Nnpemuiwip, Assistant Director of C-l-a-n-p-t.


The Assistant Director lifts the letter from the desk
and hands it to the Participant.
After a long enigmatic clearing of the throat,
the Assistant Director walks out of the room.

The Participant glides down the long paragraph of text in the letter
and sees an additional sentence hand-written on the bottom of the page.

The Participant reads:

To complete your assignment,
simply write in ten words or less,
a synopsis of this letter.

If YOU, the humble new Pelorian
wish to test your skills in brevity
submit your ten words or less!

Writers of the best Ten Words or Less Synopsis will receive
the Pelorian Digital Semi-Irregular Award and Prize

E-mail your Synopsis of the Assistant Director's letter to:

Pelorian Contest

Contestants will only receive e-mail from Pelorian Digital
if being notified of winning the contest.
Pelorian Digital, and especially the offices of Specious Industries
strongly support a spam-free internet.

The Pelorian Digital Pelorian Contest (the "Competition" or "Puzzle") is offered and open only to living residents of Planet Earth and its Solar neighbors and inhabitants of any star system (except residents of Zeta Reticuli) with high speed or dial-up access to the internet at least 13 years old at the time of entry. Employees and directors of SIC ("Specious Industries Competitions"), and Pelorian Digital, d/b/a ("Sponsor" or "Pelorian"), their parents, affiliated and subsidiary companies, advertising and promotion agencies, judges and legal advisors, and the immediate family or members of the households of such employees and directors are eligible, but may have an unfair advantage. By entering, you (and your parents and legal guardians if you are a minor) agree to these Official Rules and the decisions of SIC, the Competition judging organization, which are final and binding in all respects.